Monday, March 29, 2010

Why I no longer pursue friendships with females





About 10 years ago I stopped forming close friendships with non-related females. For most of my life, my closest friends were female. This was a major issue of tension between my first wife and I and an even bigger issue of tension between my current wife and I. Somewhere along the way I began to realize that most of the women I have known as friends have later turned out to be liabilities.

I did not realize, until I had a daughter, that females can be terribly vicious bullies. They back-stab each other. They feign friendship only to gain information or to later turn around and hurt one another. There was one girl that would invite my daughter to spend the night at her house and then turn around, at the last minute, and uninvite her. When it happened more than once, we realized it was a ploy she played in order to hurt my daughter. As a very pretty girl, my daughter became the target of other girls for this kind of bullying. In time, she learned to tell the difference between false friends and real friends, a lesson I did not learn until I was about 40 years old.

My ex-wife used to warn me about female friends and how they were not true friends. My current wife would warn me too, but more forcefully. Over and over again she would turn out to be correct in her negative assessment of female friends I knew. Female friends are far more likely to backstab you than male friends.

The other negative aspect of friendships between sexes is sex. Countless times I would find out that a female friend wanted more than a friendship, or her husband or boyfriend would suspect that something was going on, or that my wife would suspect that something was going on, and, once in my life, I did fall for a female “friend” (who turned out not to be a real friend at all) and that harmed my relationship with my first wife.

As a consequence of the above, I have sworn off close friendships with females. Such friendships are a good thing if you are single, but for married people they only lead to trouble.



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