Why to beware the oversharer

I learned the hard way to both avoid the "oversharer" and to share little of myself. The oversharer is often looking for information. For all you know, the oversharer's shared intimacy is a lie anyway. For example, when I was being stalked in Harvard Square, an undercover Dedham, MA police officer (Ed. Saint James) pretending to be an anarchist leaned over to me and started talking about his "ex-wife" and how he tried to kill her, thus winding up in jail for a spell. This dick never went to jail and his story was bogus. He was hoping that by intimating some "dark secret" with me, he would make me feel obligated to share my secrets with him.

On the other hand, if you share too many details of your life with coworkers, they may use those details to harass or stalk you later.

RE: Why to beware the oversharer

Boris came to me at the behest of his new girlfriend, Cecily, whom I'd known for years. Since most people dislike being pushed to see any sort of adviser, I expected Boris to be reticent, if not downright hostile.

How wrong I was! After a few minutes of chitchat, Boris himself raised a very personal issue.

"I know why Cecily's confused," he said sheepishly. "We've been dating for months, and we still haven't slept together."

"Okay," I said cautiously, not wanting to disrupt a delicate moment.

"You see," Boris said, looking at the floor. "Ten years ago I had a cancer scare. My, um, prostate. It turned out to be benign, but mentally, it affected...;you know." Eyes still averted, Boris described his sexual difficulties and the vicious mockery he'd endured from his former wife. I felt terrible for Boris but also secretly pleased that he'd felt safe enough to divulge such personal information.

The next day, Cecily called to thank me. "Boris seems happier," she said. Then her voice dropped. "You know, ten years ago...;" She repeated Boris's prostate story, including all the gory details. "I know we have a really special connection," Cecily said, "because Boris shared that with me on our very first date."

"Ah," I said, developing suspicions...

Interesting. I wonder if any guys share the sad truth about their tiny weeniers in order to win intimacy with women?